So .. the other day.

The other day when I was in one of those very 'optimistic' moods, which I shall warn you doesn't happen very often I realized TV may not be so bad after all. For example, you learn a useful medical fact: A person who has been shot always has time to speak a partial sentence before he dies. “The killer was ... it was...” (dies). You can also get fascinating architectural knowledge. ALL buildings have air vents big enough to crawl through. For your convenience these are also clean, have concealed lighting and end in grills that you can open with a simple push.
But i guess the biggest category of things we learn from TV can be classified under 'Life Skills'. Bad things only happen on dark and stormy nights. Emotional breakdowns cause people to wander in the heavy rain without umbrellas. And contrary to what scientists say, the crack of lightning and the accompanying flash happen simultaneously wherever you are. Ive even acquired useful geographical facts from sci-fi show: aliens speak English no matter which part of the galaxy they came from! Making use of what we learn from TV can improve our security. If you are ever attacked by a gang of 20 people, don't worry about being outnumbered. The baddies will hang back and take turns to approach you in ones and twos just so you can conveniently defeat them all. Night watchmen are guys employed to do just two things: sleep at their desks and be the first to get killed. Its in their job description. Bad guys who are completely covered up in black clothes always whip off their black masksto reveal that they are in fact gasp women
TV also teaches us important information about escaping from danger. Watch and learn. If anyone is chasing you down an alley you will find boxes placed near all walls, all you need to do is jump over and vanish. If you are tall and handsome with hair that flops over your forehead , you can run away from any number of armed villains and every bullet will miss you.
Be warned however. If your name card says 'henchman' and you are part of a group of nondescript people pursuing a handsome individual, a single bullet will kill you . No matter how far away from the chap you're standing. This is sad but don't fret: TV also delivers useful info for bad guys. All cars are inflammable and have amazing shock absorbers that enable them to soar through the air and land without damage- except police cars. Those will crash and burn in any chance. Police officers can learn from TV too. When your boss takes your badge and says. “you're off the case” and that's when you solve it!
See- so TV ain't that bad after all. So much for the complaining old folks do.